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Advertising is the art of separating people from their money. Before you
can do that, however, you – the ad person – must separate your client
from the paralyzing fear that the advertising will fail and he will be
separated from his job. This is called the pitch, where the advertising
agency presents its ideas and tries to convince the client that they
will work. It’s an interesting bit of linguistic tap dancing since the
advertising agency has no idea if they will work. Nobody does. I can
tell you from personal experience that when an ad campaign runs and
sales go up, no one is more surprised than the people who created it.
廣告是一種讓人將錢從口袋掏出來的藝術。但是，一個廣告人員需先讓客戶免於恐懼；他的客戶可能會因為廣告失敗，也失去了工作。於是廣告業務必須極力說服他的客戶——這個點子保證成功，我們稱之為「賣力推銷」。由於廣告業務也不確定廣告是否成功，一切像是口語上的踢躂舞。沒人敢保證，我可以這麼說；根據個人經驗，當一個廣告如火如荼的播放，而且銷售量也突飛猛進時，其中最訝異的人，莫過於那位想出這個廣告的人。
Nevertheless, when the agency executives make the pitch, they must exude
confidence. They must walk in and say, “Today we are going to present an
idea for your product – Hair Today – that will be a game changer in the
hair replacement category, a paradigm shift that will cut through the
clutter and engage your target demographic at every touch point,
leveraging your brand persona to build equity, increase share and create
a point of differentiation that will move the sales needle and produce
real ROI (return on investment) for your marketing dollar.”
然而，當業務賣力推銷時，他們必須散發出無比的自信。大步走進會議室後朗聲說：「我們帶給你們的產品『今日髮』一個無與倫比的點子，這將改變洗髮用品的遊戲規則，我們將建立一個典範，在紊亂中殺出重圍，在任何時候都能吸引目標客戶，讓品牌發揮加乘效果，增加市佔率，創造差異，為你們投資的每一塊錢，創造實際的投資報酬率。」
These words are directed to the marketing manager, who has invited
several other people to sit in. They know nothing about advertising –
one person manages the loading dock – but these people will serve to
spread accountability if the whole thing fails. They will also, despite
their total ignorance, feel free to comment and critique at will, as we
shall soon see.
這些話是講給行銷經理聽的，雖然他還邀了許多人與會，即使這些人對於廣告一無所知，其中一個還是管裝卸貨碼頭的。不過，一旦事情搞砸了，這些人多少得分擔一些責任。儘管他們意興闌珊，我們還是很快地察覺，這些人刻意顯得輕鬆地提出一些意見和批評。
The marketing manager opens the meeting with his usual team-building,
inspirational remarks: “We only have the room ‘til eleven. Will that be
enough time?”
一如往常地，行銷經理用一貫的、激勵團隊的口吻開場：「我們可以使用這個會議室到11點，時間應該夠用吧？」
The agency begins its pitch, only to be interrupted immediately by the
loading dock manager, who fancies himself somewhat of an ad man himself.
“How about ‘Hair Today, Hair Tomorrow’? That’s kind of catchy.”
廣告業務開始口若懸河地賣力推銷，但立刻就被碼頭經理給打斷，他似乎自認為是一個廣告專業：「改成『今日髮明日髮』如何？聽起來比較容易引起注意。」
Whenever a client makes a moronic suggestion, you always have to say,
“That’s interesting,” before ignoring it completely.
無論客戶的建議如何不上道，在完全否認之前，都必須先說：「這個意見很有趣。」
AGENCY: “That’s interesting. So...our commercial opens on a man with
hair loss – ”
廣告業務：「這個意見很有趣。所以…我們推出一個掉髮的男人開始我們的廣告…」
“Should we say hair loss? That sounds negative. Maybe it’s hair
attrition.”
「『掉髮』好嗎？聽起來很負面。頭髮『損耗』似乎好一點。」
AGENCY: “That’s interesting. So we see this guy with...hair attrition
...and he uses Hair Today and instead of a before-and-after shot of hair
growing, which you always see... he grows a crown on his head!”
廣告業務：「這個意見很有趣。所以我們會呈現一個頭髮…損耗的男人，他使用了今日髮；然後，不要再用『使用前、使用後』那個老梗，我們讓他頭上…長出一個皇冠。」
“He grows hair on the crown of his head? What about the back and
sides?”
「他頭上的皇冠長出頭髮？那兩側和後面呢？」
AGENCY: “No, no – he grows a real crown. It’s symbolic! Hair Today makes
you feel like a king! Everyone else shows the outer results. We show the
inner results, the psychic benefit! It’s breakthrough stuff! And then we
underscore it with the tag line: ‘Use Hair Today and Be the King of
Self-Confidence.’”
廣告業務：「不是，不是，他是真的長出皇冠。它是一個象徵！今日髮讓你感覺自己像是一個國王！其他人都是展現外在的結果；我們要呈現出內在的結果，一種心靈上的效應！這是一種突破性產品！然後我們下一個標語：『有自信的國王，使用今日髮』。」
“Is the crown made of hair? Is it like a new hairstyle?”
「皇冠是頭髮做成的嗎？像是一種新髮型嗎？」
AGENCY: “No, it’s a real crown.”
廣告業務：「不是，它是真的皇冠。」
“But he’s still bald. He looks like Yul Brynner in The King and I.”
「但是，他仍然禿頭。這樣看起來很像電影《國王與我》裡面的光頭影帝尤伯連那。」
AGENCY: “The crown stands for his hair. It makes him a king.”
廣告業務：「皇冠象徵他的頭髮。讓他成為一個國王。」
“Are there any kings left? Prince Charles won’t be a king until his
mother croaks.”
「這世上還有國王嗎？查理斯王子必須等到他媽掛了之後，才能當國王。」
“Denmark has a king.”
「丹麥有國王啊。」
“Is he losing his hair? Would he do a celebrity endorsement?”
「他的頭髮還在嗎？他可以當名人代言人嗎？」
AGENCY: “It’s a metaphor! It’s symbolic!”
廣告業務：「這是隱喻！是一個象徵！」
“People don’t like kings. They have a superior attitude.”
「人們不會喜歡國王。他們的態度太高傲了。」
AGENCY: “The qualities of a king – power, strength, masculinity.”
廣告業務：「我們強調的是國王的特質——權力，力量和男性魅力。」
“A lot of kings got beheaded. You have to be alive for the product to
work.”
「很多國王都被斬首了。還得活著才能打廣告呢。」
The marketing director looks at his watch. “Okay, what do we think?
Let’s get some reactions.”
行銷主管看看他的錶：「好了吧。看看各位對於這些提議有什麼反應？」
“It just doesn’t hit me.”
「我沒什麼感覺。」
“Where’s the Wow factor? It doesn’t Wow me.”
「不是有所謂『哇！』的因素嗎？我怎麼都沒被『哇！』到？」
“I still think he looks like Yul Brynner.”
「我怎麼看他，怎麼像尤伯連那。」
And so it goes. Your brilliant idea is being pecked to death by ducks.
It’s eleven o’clock and people are waiting outside the room with a cake
and party hats to celebrate November birthdays. The marketing director
says, “I think we’re almost there. If we can just get rid of the crown,
change the tag line and show a guy with hair, we’ll have something.”
就這樣，你的偉大的點子，像是被一群鴨子一點一滴啄得蕩然無存。11點了，在會議室外有一群人，頭戴著派對帽子，捧著一塊蛋糕，等著要向11月壽星慶生。行銷主管做個結論：「我想，我們快要達成共識了。只要拿掉皇冠，改一下標語，再找一個有頭髮的人，大概就差不多了。」
What can you say? “That’s interesting.”
你還能說什麼？「這個意見很有趣。」
John Cadley is an advertising copywriter in Syracuse, New York.
Reach him at
jcadley@mower.com
作者 : John Cadley,
位於紐約州Syracuse市的廣告文案撰寫人，他的連絡資料
jcadley@mower.com
譯者：邱少為Alex,
屏東英語演講會 |
