Last month, I went to South America and I became the body guard of our president 李登輝.

Contest chair, honorable judges, fellow toastmasters and most distinguished guests, do you know why 李登輝chose ME as his body guard? Was it because I was tall? Was it because I was strong? No! He chose me because:

•he knew I had the super power to manage dangerous situations, and

•he wanted his body guard to be FRANK to him

•and also carry his last name LEE .

Then, who is the most adequate person? Of COURSE! ME, FRANK LEE!

Most of you may know, from time to time, 李登輝 cannot control what he says, even after taking the S.U.T., Shut Out Tablets. It still doesn't work!

On Sept 9, 李登輝 visited Honduras. This is the press release and this is the enlargement of the picture. As you can see, this is 李登輝 and this is me, his body guard.

Suddenly, I smelt something different. "Isn't that Jerry Ma? Our council governor?" Just before I intended to say hello to Jerry, my super power told me Jerry was a killer. A killer! "How come he became the KILLER? Does he join Toastmasters to learn all the SKILLS to KILL?"

I saw Jerry put his hand under his jacket, pulled out his gun and aimed at the president. Immediately, I created a STRONG blow of wind and I blew the killer away. At the same time, I changed the FLAG, from Republic of China to PEOPLE'S Republic of China. I changed it because I wanted to DIVERT the attention of the media. That's why you didn't know anything about the killer. The Honduras people didn't use the wrong FLAG. It was ME who changed it. It was ME, Frank Lee, who saved our president's life.

The next day, a pretty and sexy reporter came to see me.

"Mr. Lee, can I have a picture of your first lady?" she asked.

Her voice was so sweet that I was nearly fainted but I controlled myself.
"what for?"

"I know your first lady had a very successful eye bag operation and I want to show the picture to our people".

I used super power again to read her mind and I found out She actually wanted to kidnap our first lady and she didn't know who she was. So I gave her this picture, ON purpose; the picture between 李登輝 and the ex county chief of 高雄 county. The Honduras people didn't use the wrong picture. It was me who gave the wrong picture to the media. It was me, Frank Lee, who saved our president's wife.

After we returned to Taiwan, many people complained 李登輝 spent too much money in this trip. Actually it was NOT true. Now, I finally understand why 李登輝 chose ME as his BODY guard. It was because of MY Chinese name 李福賢. Whenever 李登輝 was asked to pay, he always call MY name, 你付錢, 你付錢. Madame Contest Chair.