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Who Kicked Out Lu, An-ni?  
 

First Place Winner of ROC Tall Tales Contest,1995.4.23. Ru-ee Hsieh

 


Hi! Good afternoon, everyone! I just came from U.C. Berkeley for my spring break. And I like to tell you a truth here. Do you still remember the news about Wand Wen-yang and Lu An-ni? Do you know why Wang Wen-yang ended up teaching at my school U.C. Berkeley? Let me tell you the true story.

Ten years ago, when I was still a student at National Taiwan University. I was in Dr. Wang Wen-yang's class. Dr. Wang Wen-yang was so handsome that I couldn't help myself fall in love with him at the first class. Once in an exam. I didn't know how to answer those questions, I only wrote down "I Love You". When the paper was returned. to my great surprise, I got the highest score, with his phone number on it! Since then, the greatest time of my life started. We often strolled in the National Museum at night, and we had tea with President Lee Tun-Hwei form time to time, all because my Wen-yang had the privilege.

But the more we loved each other. the more I felt sad. Because wen-yang already got married, I could tell no one about my happiness and worry. except my best friend, Lu An-ni. Yes I told An-ni everything about Wen-yang and I. Yes, I mean everything. After I graduated from university, I went to U.C. Berkeley to continue my study. Wen-yang told me he would come as soon as possible. Then, we would have six babies. And everything would work out somehow. We can't talk to each other in public; therefore , I can only ask my best friend An-ni to pass the massage for us. I thought everything would work out perfectly, until one day. when I found that An-ni had become Wen-yang's new girlfriend. I couldn't believe it. How can my best friend betray me and take my sweetheart away! Suddenly my truth and friendship soon turned into anger and hate. After I cooled down, I decided I had to do something to stop her shameful behavior and take back my love.

So, I went to see my professor in National Taiwan University. I told him "Professor, if you can do this for me, I will do anything for you." He said, "Anything?" I said, "Yes, anything." "Deal!" "All you have to do is to fail Lu
An-ni, fail her." Now you know why she didn't pass her oral exam. But I wasn't satisfied yet, So I went to the professor again. I said, "Professor, now I like you to do one more thing for me. I like to tape down all the conversation you have with Dr. Wand Wen-yang." Here is the tape I asked someone to play for me in the press conference. And this is how I exposed their love affair in front of the public. And this is the letter (萬言書)that An-ni wrote to 王永慶 . Let me read it for you. "I like to be Wen-yang's concubine. W want to give him 12 babies and help him become the richest person in the world. Bla-bla-bla..." You know what? An-ni has nothing to do with thes letter, It was me, Who wrote this letter and mailed it to 王永慶. Ha-ha-, this is how I kicked out Lu An-ni and gai ned back my love."

But, dear friends, you might say, "Wen-yang is married, can his family accept you?" you don't need to worry for me. I already spent one week in Hawaii with him. and everything was all set. Now, Wen-yang is at my apartment in Berkeley. Dear friend, you don't have to say anything after hearing my story. All I need is your blessing!