Benjamin Franklin said, “Beer is a proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” Back when I was single, God used to love me a lot. Drinking used to come in a form that “I just want to have a good time with my girlfriends.”

But I have a hidden agenda that I wanted to meet some cute single guys. Only I wouldn't tell you about it. Very soon, my girlfriends were all having fun with the cute, handsome single guys they met except for me.

And what should I do? The only thing I could do was to pretend to enjoy drinking. Gradually, as I went to the bar more often, I started to do less of the pretending but more of the drinking. And that was when the joy of drinking began.

Let's zoom in and take a look at “a fun night out,” and experience the pleasure of drinking. A wild ride starts the moment when you enter the night club. You quickly check out the gentlemen at the bar. Well, they are not so handsome.

But it's OK. First, you just have to have a shot of

tequila.  And then you look at the gentleman sitting next to you, “He is really not bad.” (Not so fast! Another shot of tequila, “He is really yummy.”) Joy of drinking # 1, you get courageous. You spot a cute guy.

You set your target. After a few shots of tequila, you become very brave. You walk over to him and said, “Can I buy you a drink?” Knowing later he is going to look at me and think, “She is really sexy.” Sometimes a crisis might occur, a woman is talking to your cute guy.

You walk over to her, and you slap her in the face, just because you feel like it. You do all the things you normally wouldn't do, just because of the courage you find in drinking.

At the end of the night, you have a such blast. You feel like a goddess. Somehow you get on the stage and you tell the world, “Everybody, I am going to take off my shirt right here right now.” Then you pass out.
 
Joy of drinking # 2, you get creative. When it comes to drinking, you get creative in coming up with the excuses to drink. For example, breaking up with your boy friend is a great one to drink. When you get a little drunk and you just want to call him. It's called the drink-and-dial.
 
“Hello, Johnny, I miss you.”
“Samantha, have you been drinking?”
“No. I really really really miss you.”
“Don't call me again, please. We broke up five years ago.” Click!
 
Feeling rejected? There you go, another excuse to drink. Definitely have another shot of tequila.
 
Joy of drinking # 3, you get surprises. When you are drunk, the world is just a better place. You are surprised to find out that, in your drunken world, people are more attractive. You speak better English. Especially when all the parties of the conversation are all drunk, that is when you speak English the best.
 
When you go out drinking, it is very important that you go with a designated driver who will stay sober all night and drive you home safely. Did I do that? Are you kidding me? With all the courage I found in drinking, I surprised myself on how well I could drink and drive.

One time I was doing my usual drunk driving and got pulled over by a cop. I got creative right away. I said to myself, “I am going to smooth-talk myself out of the situation.” I slowly rolled down the window and said to him,
 
“Officer, don't worry about me. I never drink my car while driving my beer.”
　
“I don't think so, lady. It would be really difficult to swallow your car. Here's your ticket.”
 
After the traffic ticket, I quit drunk driving; and after I got married, I gave up night clubbing. So here I am, sitting at home, drinking alone and feeling absolutely no pleasure whatsoever.

That was when I realized, just like a little child hates to leave Disneyland , it was the inspiration I found in drinking that I hate to leave behind. Without the bravery, the originality and the unexpectedness, my life was just boring, until the day I found Toastmaster's club. And it was the day my addictive personality found its new home. From a party drunk to a speech junkie, once again I am loved by God.

Nowadays, whenever I feel sad, mad and glad, I write and deliver a speech. Somehow I still get to get on the stage and be the center of the attention. I still feel like a goddess. And most importantly, I still get to keep all the joy of flying high without even having to have a drink.

At the end of the night, I get to drive home sober and still have my shirt on.