Palms up? Palms down? What do these gestures mean to you? A play between 3-year old children? Some sort of modern dance? Or Chinese Kung-Fu? 

Contest Chair, ladies and gentlemen, 

For me, Palms up means receiving favors from others while palms down represents the art of giving. Since our childhood, our parents and teachers have taught us that "Giving is more of a bless than receiving" By reaching out with our palms down, someday we will have the chance to reach out with our palms up. 
But is it that easy? 

A friend couple of mine, Kevin and Amy, they loved each other so much that they took turns to make dinners. But there was one problem -- they had been arguing for years, over the way to cook scrambled eggs.
　

Kevin preferred "black scrambled eggs" cooked with soy sauce, while Amy insisted that "white scrambled eggs" -- the one cooked with plain salt -- is the best way to make scrambled eggs. No! No! No! No! This is how my mother cooked. This is the only way to make really delicious scrambled eggs. Both sides insisted, without any sign of concession, for 5 years.  
　

And there came one day, in an unusually good mood, Kevin decided to give white eggs a shot. When Amy got home, she was so surprised to see a plate of beautiful white eggs on the dinner table. That night they had the happiest dinner time ever in their 5 years of marriage.

Two days later, Amy made some black scrambled eggs. And Kevin ate them all fairly quickly. With tears in his eyes and eggs in his mouth he said, "It's just like my mom’s eggs". Kevin and Amy never had a fight since then. Now at their dinner table, it's white eggs for Monday, Wednesday and Friday, black eggs for Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. On Sunday they make both kinds of eggs and invite us to dinners.
　

As normal human beings, we all have our egos. Amid quarrels, we feel reluctant to give in, especially when we are absolutely sure that we're right. That makes it difficult for us to TRULY give in, even though we know the situation might be better off if we reach out with our palms down first.
　

I have been married for 15 years. Every time my husband and I had a fight, we both became upset. None of us wanted to give in, thinking that it wasn't my fault. But When Kevin and Amy told me their story, I was so surprised to find out that it is that easy. At that moment I suddenly discovered the key to the whole palms-up and palms-down philosophy, which helped save my marriage.
　

You see, my husband loves golfing and roof gardening, but whenever he eagerly brought up these topics, I always replied with "um" "ah" "errrr" -- if there was an ah-counter at our dinner table, I would score really high. I just wasn't interested. Most of the time I simply hoped that he could change the topic as soon as possible. Likewise, when I talked about Toastmasters, he always looked like this.

To make it even worse, if we avoided talking about these topics to prevent from fighting, we were left with nothing to talk about at dinner table, because we are both dentists. And it would be the most pathetic thing in the world if we talked about teeth at the dinner table after a whole day of cleaning them, drilling them and pulling them out of the screaming patients, wouldn't it?
　

But Kevin and Amy's story inspired me. I decided to change first. I started to express some interests in his golfing and gardening. "How are your golfing and your friends?" "How are your lavenders, cucumbers and roses?"
　

Then suddenly, everything changed! ! Not only did he discuss those topics with me happily, he also started to ask about Toastmasters. 

Isn't it amazing? By putting my palms down first, the deadlock between us was easily resolved! Now I even have to beg him to stop asking me about Toastmasters. He's actually getting too annoying.
　

The bottom line is- Most of the quarrels and fights we have in our lives are actually no big deals. Giving up your way of cooking eggs or starting to care about your best half's hobbies wouldn't kill you. It's our ego that is holding us back, and it's totally meaningless.
　

Ladies and gentlemen, now I would like to ask a favor of you. Let me see your hands please. Do as I do. Only by first reaching out our palms down will we be able to enjoy the pleasure of palms-up.
　

And by the way, for the sake of health, don't forget to wash your palms first.
　

Contest Chair!