Before, I wanted the perfect smartphone, cool, sexy and expensive, so I tried to give away my old cellphone, but nobody wanted it. 1111111
　

Once I tried to give it to my little nephew, Jimmy.

Jimmy, I said, do you want a free cellphone?
　

No, uncle, I don’t want your old, loser cellphone. This is the third time you tried to give it to me. It is a piece of junk.” And he walked away, laughing at me.
　

I hate that kid. But he is on my wifes side of the family so he is not my problem!
　

Transition: I was desperate. I even pretended to lose my cellphone but something always went wrong. Now I love my cellphone. But why did I change? Now, that is a long and painful story.

I remember the first time, I tried to lose my phone, I was on a bus, in Xiongxiao East Rd, in Taipei.  The bus was really crowded and everybody was staring at their smart phones.

Maybe you noticed, when people stare at a smart phone they don’t see any other person or anything else around them. So I decided to test this.
　

I yelled out, “Fire!” (Mimic scrolling on the smart phone.)

I yelled out, “There is a bomb on this bus! (Mimic scrolling on the smart phone.)

I yelled out, “Your mother just got on the bus! (Mimic looking up from the phone and staring around wildly!)

So, I took out my cell phone and put it on my seat behind me because no one cared! At my stop I got off at my stop and I walked to the pedestrian crossing. Then I heard those two words.
　

Hey, Mister!
Hey, Mister!
　

I turned around. There was this 10 year old kid.
　

Is this your phone? he said.

No! I said.

But I found it on the seat where you were sitting? He said.

Are you sure? I said.

Sure, I’m sure. He said.

Hrrr..... I said.

I snatched the phone from his hand.
　

Transition

I went home. I was sad and defeated.

----------------------------------------------

When I am sad and defeated take myself to the movies to make myself feel better. Then I had another idea, a better idea. I decided to go to the early movie because there are no people in the movie theatre.

The next day I got to the movies at10 am. I bought a medium popcorn and a medium coke. Then I went into the theater. It was empty. Perfect.  I sat right up the back.

The movie started. I ate my popcorn and I drank my Coke. Near the end of the movie I took out my stupid phone and put it in the empty coke container and folded down the top of the container so no one could see inside. .
　

The movie ended. Near the doorway was a bored 17 year old kid with a trash can. He looked a little familiar. He had a trash can. I dropped my two containers into the trash can.
The phone made a sound as it hit the bottom of the trash can.

Success! I walked out to the theater and walked towards the escalator. And then I saw him. The kid from the bus stop the previous day.
　

Oh my God, I thought, don’t tell me he found my cellphone again. But he had nothing in his hands. I relaxed.

Then I heard those two words. I stopped relaxing.
　

Hey mister!

Hey mister!
　

I didn’t want to turn around....but I did.

There was the bored teenager from the trash can.
　

Hey mister, is this your phone? He said.

No. I said.

But mister, you were the only person in the theatre. It must be yours!

Hrrr...I said. (Hold your hands low then move them up to a higher boy’s throat.)....Not really...to the audience.

How did you find my cellphone?  I said.

“When you threw the containers into the trash can they made a funny sound so I looked inside. And I found your phone.”

Mini transition: By now we were at the escalator and I looked at the two  kids. They looked like brothers.

I said to the big kid: Is this your brother?

Sure he said. And you know what, he said, yesterday my brother found a cell phone on the bus, and he gave it to a foreigner just like you! Isn’t that amazing, two times in two days.

No, I said. It is not amazing, and I snatched the cellphone from his hands.
　

Transition:

I went home. I was sad and defeated When I am sad and defeated I like to read books.

The next day I was reading a story about a king in Persia. He was a very wise man.

One day the king’s son came to him and said.

Hey mister, hey mister!

Don’t call me mister. I hate that! Call me daddy.
　

Sorry! Daddy, daddy.

Daddy, today I was in the city today watching the carpet makers making  carpets they always make a small mistake, an error, so that the carpet is not perfect.

Daddy, are these people idiots?

No, my son, they are not idiots. The carpet makers believe that only God can be perfect. In this world, our world, things must be imperfect so that they can change and grow.
　

Wow! I thought, I am not perfect, but I can grow and change.
　

Then I thought about my cellphone. This is the most imperfect piece of junk in Taiwan. But if I can learn to accept it I can become a better man. If I can accept its imperfection I can become a bigger and better man, and this is what my cellphone teaches me.
　

But wait. If my cellphone is not perfect so maybe it can grow and change.  Maybe it can become a smart phone. Let’s test it.
　

Let’s ask it a question like people do with their smart phones.
　

First an easy one!

Cell phone: what is one plus one?
　

I should have bought an Apple!