Many years ago, I was having a job interview by my boss.  “Ms. Chang, how many languages can you speak.  “I can speak Mandarin, Taiwanese, English… and there is another language I can speak.”  “Really, that’s great. Is it Japanese?  No!  French? No! Spanish? No!  Then, what other language?  The other language I can speak is … “body language.”  Few minutes later, he hired me, few months later, he kissed me, few years later, he married me. Do you want to know my secret?  (Audience : Yes)

許多年前，在我的工作面談時，老闆問我”張小姐，你會幾種語言?” “我會國語、台語、英語…我還會另一種語言” “真的? 太好了，是日語嗎?” “不是” “是法語嗎?” “不是" "是西班牙語嗎” “不是” “那是另外哪種語言?” “我會的另一種語言是…肢體語言。  幾分鐘後，他錄用了我，幾個月後，他吻了我，幾年後，他娶了我。你想知道我的秘密嗎? (眾答: 想)

After I was hired, I worked very hard…from 9 to 5. Then I got my salary-- 20 thousand.  Oh, too low, I think I deserve more.  Maybe double, triple, or the company’s capital .

在我被錄用後，我早九晚五認真工作，後來拿到薪水兩萬塊，喔，太低了，我認為我應得更多，也許雙倍(double)、三倍(triple)、或是公司的資本額(capital)(英文押韻)。

But the problem was the boss never paid attention to me.  So, I used the most beautiful and sexy part of my body to attract him.  Not here (breast) OK?  This is what I did :  (blink).  And he really came to me.  “Miss Chang, what’s wrong with your eyes? ” Oh, so embarrassing.

但問題是老闆從未注意我，所以我用我全身最美麗性感的地方來吸引他。不是這裡啦(指胸部)，我是這樣做的(眨眼)，他真的走過來了，”張小姐，你的眼睛有甚麼毛病?” 喔，好尷尬喔!

Since then, I decided to work even harder … this time, from 5am to 9pm.  Finally my boss did notice me and took me to Italy, for a trade show.  With my broken Italian and body language – chao, Gucci, Prada, mama mia…, I got a lot of orders.  My boss was very happy.  That night, he took me to a fancy restaurant.  Mm~ I don’t want to tell you what happened next. 

在那之後，我決定更認真工作，這次從早上五點工作到晚上九點，終於老闆真的注意到我了，並且帶我去義大利參加商展，我用我的破義大利文但是很棒的肢體語言(義大利語) “你好、 Prada, Gucci義大利名牌皮包名), 媽媽咪阿”，我拿了很多訂單。那天晚上，老闆帶我去一家高級餐廳，嗯~~(嗲音)我不要告訴你後來發生了甚麼事。

Day by day, my boss was very satisfied with my performance and my body… language, finally we got married. 　Since then, my body language is spoken …even louder.

日子一天一天的過去，老闆越來越滿意我的表現和身體…語言，終於我們結婚了。從此，我的肢體語言說的更大聲。

Once, my husband and I were passing through a jewelry shop.  “Honey”.  “Don’t even think about it!” Wow, he was so smart and quick, he can read my mind.  But how can I be a loser after so many years of  training from Toastmasters.  Now it’s time for C5 “my body speaks”.  My nose said “honey”, my lips said “honey” , and my legs said “honey...”  Then you know who is the final winner  … the shop owner.  No honey, no money. (show the big ring)

有一次，我老公和我走過一家珠寶店，”親愛的”  “想都別想” 哇~他真聰明又敏捷，他有讀心術，但是在我受過演講會多年訓練之後我怎麼可以做個輸家呢? 現在要發揮C5 “我的身體會說話"，我的鼻子說 "親愛的" (鼻音)，我的嘴唇說"親愛的"(嘟嘴)，我的雙腿說 “親愛的” (扭動雙腿)，那你可猜想誰是最後贏家…是店家。 沒有親愛的(honey)，就沒有錢(money) (英文押韻) (秀出大戒指)。

At home, I do most of the house chores, the only thing I ask my husband to do is to throw out the garbage every night, but he always forgets about it --on purpose . One night he was watching TV again.  “Honey (手交叉胸前), if you don’t throw out the garbage, I will throw you out …as garbage.”  “OK, but throw out the TV together”.  Oh this time, C5 doesn’t work. I need Advanced Manual.  My arms said “garbage” (surrounding husband), my shoulders said “garbage”(sexily shaking shoulders), and my hips said “garbage”(sexily waving hips).  My husband said “garbage!” (throwing out garbage prop).  See, how excellent my body language is. I win his heart, his body, and …his money.  Do you want to see him? (audience: yes) Do you really want to see him? (audience：Yes！) Michael, stand up.(husband stands up and waves hands).  Ladies, I warn you, never use your body language to him.

在家裡，大部分的家務事都是我做的，我要求我老公做的唯一一件事是每晚丟垃圾，但是他總是”故意”忘記，有一晚，他又在看電視，”親愛的，你如果不去到垃圾，我就把你當作垃圾丟掉” “好啊，但是連電視機也一起丟掉!”  啊!這次C5不管用了，我想我需要用高階手冊，我的雙手說(環繞老公狀)”垃圾”，我的雙肩說(性感的抖動)”垃圾”，我的臀部說(搖動臀部)”垃圾”，然後我的老公說”垃圾”（無奈的拿起垃圾道具去丟），你看，我的肢體語言多棒啊，我贏的了他的心、他的身體、還有他的錢。你們想看他嗎? (眾: 想)你們真的想看他嗎?(眾:想) “麥克，站起來” (老公站起來揮手)。女士們，我警告你們，絕不可對他使用你的肢體語言。

But, one night I overheard a conversation between my husband and a neighbor: “Hey Michael, throwing out the garbage again, ha?” My husband replied: “Oh, comparing to all the wonderful work my wife has done for me, throwing garbage is nothing.  I would like to do anything to make her happy. “ 

但是，有天晚上，我偷聽到一段我老公和鄰居的對話，”嘿，麥克，你’又’來到垃圾了啊?” 我老公回答”喔，比起我老婆為我做的一切美好的事，倒垃圾不算甚麼，為了讓她高興，我願意做任何事”

Oh, how touching! I always thought I use my body language to win everything from him, apparently I was wrong, he would do anything to make me happy, that’s true love.  I was deeply touched.  Then, I realized, the best communication in marriage is not body, not language, but understanding!

喔，好感動喔，我一直認為我用我的肢體語言來贏得他的一切，顯然的，我錯了，為了讓我快樂，他願意做任何事，喔，這是真愛，我真的感動了。然後，我了解到婚姻裡最好的溝通不是肢體、不是語言、而是諒解。

Ladies and gentlemen, now, read my hips, oh my lips.  Marriage is not a battlefield, but a workshop, he works, I shop.  Marriage is a company, he makes money, I save money…for the shop owner.   Oh, time for garbage.  “Michael.”  “Oh, you watch TV, I’ll throw out the garbage this time.”    Contest master.

各位先生女士，現在請看我的臀部(hips)，喔不，我的嘴唇(lips)(英文押韻)，婚姻不是戰場，而是工作坊(“坊”和”購物”同音)，他工作、我購物。婚姻也像是一個公司，他賺錢，我存錢…但是是幫店家存錢。喔，倒垃圾時間到了，”麥克”，喔，你看電視，這次我來到垃圾”(扭著臀部去丟垃圾)。比賽主持人。