Why do I need a man? Why not?

This is not a question, this is a PROBLEM. I am a high class lady, well-educated woman. I have never thought I need a man until I met the guy I liked. He told me – He used to chase beautiful girls but found out they were boring.And I was nothing like them. Yap, I was not beautiful but Interesting.

When I was a little girl, my mom told me – A woman’s best choice was to get a rich man.

He will be an ATM and you got the password. I believed in her until one day I was introduced to a rich guy.

We met in a fancy restaurant. We were talking and eating, eating and talking. I had been talking and he had been eating. Finally he picked up the bill and said the only sentence “Let’s go Dutch.” Go Dutch? We won’t go anywhere. You could go home, go to sleep.

Don’t you know if you wanted to catch a chicken, you would need to use some grain.

Not to mention if you wanted to catch a Chic like me, you would need more grand. I

only said these words in my heart, I am chicken Rich man did not work out for me.

Then I remembered my teacher, she wished her boyfriend will not be a doctor or soldier,and he cannot be bald. Later she married to a guy, he was a doctor in the military but luckily he was not bald. 3 years after their marriage, he lost - all his hair. I realized setting up my goal for the perfect man could be tricky.

I decided to go with the flow.

I enjoyed it when young men on the street doing this to me “whi…” “BI” – that’s a policeman. I can handle it if the policeman was young and handsome.

Time goes by, most of the men at my age got married. I thought I should find a younger guy. Luckily I met a guy who was 10 years younger. Everything seems to go beautifully if I did not ask that stupid question-- why do you love me? He rested his head on my chest and said – YOU take good care of me. YOU let me be the one I want to be.

Excuse me, who do you want to be? Deep in my heart, I want to be a 7 year old boy.

Boy, I can’t babysit a man. I cannot be your Mom. Go back to your mother. Your Mother Is Better….

Time goes by again, I had couple boy-friends but none of them worked out. It’s like there was some SMOKE but there was no FIRE. My friend told me – If you want to get married, you just have to LOOSE your mind in the process. Right, I am always TOO sober. I asked her-how did you get married. She said I was pregnant. Ah, I got it. I need to get pregnant in order to get a man. Or I need to get a man in order to get pregnant.

Man, pregnant, which one goes first?

Over the past 10 years, my men-hunting journey was very bumpy. The 1st 2 years, Why me, why not me? Why can’t I find Mr. Right? 2 years later, OK OK, I cannot find a man.

3 years later, C’est La Vie, this was the reality. Another 3 years later, I wanted to call police – Help! All Taiwanese men were missing.

Falling in love makes people younger, out of love makes people mature. I am mature ENOUGH. I was inspired by Steve Jobs “Stay hungry, stay foolish” Yes, I am hungry and foolish for love. But with love, I hope to stay young, stay happy. But my problem is – how could I get a man?

After I have tried everything possible, for a high class lady, well educated woman, what could I do next? Look for professional consultant - (look at the audience then the ceiling)

Dear God, please send me Mr. Right or just Mr. Go Dutch is acceptable, Go to his place is even better. I am ready to loose my mind. I only have couple of criteria that I send it to you through e-mail last night, please respond.” Ding.. You have got a mail – Find a man near you.

Find a man near me? (looking at the audience, pick a man and flirt)