LeiYaiHaiYoAiAiYa…Welcome to Hualian. (Aborigine's Voice) We aborigines are warriors (pause) (Patting my chest…Coughing), and our women are the most beautiful, just like my mom. (Showing my mom's picture) Hualian is a melting pot; it is full of modern agriculture, diverse cultures, and my glorious adventures, (A real gun and shooting sounds.) (pause) hunting girls.
 

I also did my military service in Hualian. Before I went into the army, my best friend, Johnny said to me. “Don't worry! I will take good care of your girlfriend de-la.” (Wolf, and vocal variety!) (pause) Oh, no~ (Nervous facial expression) so I called my girlfriend right away. “My dear Honey! Don't trust Johnny.” (pause) One month later they both (pause) disappeared. Till now I still can't find them, and I have to say Johnny is the best walker (pause) (Tread at least 3 steps), Johnny walker. (pause) I was so heartbroken.
 

One night at my military base I drank a lot wine with two of my roommates sleeping next to me. That night in my dream I met Johnny and my girlfriend, so I beat Johnny (Beating movement) and had a great time with my girlfriend (Caress movement).

The next day when we woke up, I found one of my roommates had panda's eyes and broken ribs. (pause) The other had some love bites on his neck, chest, and ... (Look down) (pause) My chief knew what had happened to me, so he arranged an outing and invited some girls. And thanks to my chief, my date was the most beautiful girl, Caroline. (Showing her picture, a fat girl on the screen) But when she hopped on my motorbike, (A poo sound) my tire became flat. So, I rode her bike. (Body language) But, the tire (pause) exploded. (pause) Then we had to take the bus. (Long pause and shake head) The bus' tires (pause) were ok!

Finally we arrived at the top of the mountain to meet my chief and his friends. We had a party around the bonfire; I got so crazy and I took off my T-shirt and pants (waving-body language) and then threw them into the bonfire. (pause) All of a sudden, everyone was laughing at my ((pause), look down) sexy pink underpants, (pause) with a Hello Kitty. One little girl even ran to me “I love that Kitty, may I cut it?” (pause)
 

The next morning we hiked out of the mountain. (pause) But Caroline and I got lost in the woods. Suddenly, some monkeys showed up. Caroline was so scared and I tried to protect her by using my talent of (pause) animal communication. (pause, monkey movement and then throw a bunch of banana away.) Caroline, they left. “Wow, Shang, this is amazing! You are just like Tarzan. You are my hero!”
 

After this amazing adventure, Caroline and I fell in love. And we decided to have at least (two fingers) (pause) 20 children, and I will contribute all them to Toastmasters by chartering the 1st and the only family club named (pause) “Tarzan” Toastmasters. This is beyond human ability and reaches the level of animal world. And I promise this club will live forever and members will renew every year. Now Caroline and I are going to get married and we'd like to invite you to our wedding party. Here are two reminders. No. 1, it's free (pause) for animals. No.2, it's free for Toastmasters (pause) ladies only!
 

Oh, I just so love Hualian because I can smell the fresh air and I can shout in the woods (o-i-o-i-o, Tarzan's voice) (pause) Do you love Hualian? (Yes!) Do you love this wonderland? (Yes!) Do you love Caroline? (Yes!) (Make the gun-holding pose) You'd better not! For my Caroline and my beautiful homeland, I will work with my people to make this land wonderful and hope one day we can hold a convention on this wonderland. (pause) LeiYaiHaiYoAiAiYa

Contest Master.