LeiYaiHaiYoAiAiYa…Welcome to Hualian. (Aborigine's Voice) We aborigines are warriors (pause) (Patting my chest…Coughing), and our women are the most beautiful, just like my mom. (Showing my mom's picture) Hualian is a melting pot; it is full of modern agriculture, diverse cultures, and my glorious adventures, (A real gun and shooting sounds.) (pause) hunting girls.
LeiYaiHaiYoAiAiYa∼ 歡迎來到花蓮（原住民的口音）！我們原住民是英勇的戰士（重擊胸膛、咳嗽！）我們的女士是最美麗的，就像我親愛的母親（出示媽媽的照片）。花蓮是個民族大熔爐，充滿著現代農業、多元文化、以及我那輝煌的探險之旅（槍及槍聲）- 獵…豔。

I also did my military service in Hualian. Before I went into the army, my best friend, Johnny said to me. “Don't worry! I will take good care of your girlfriend de-la.” (Wolf, and vocal variety!) (pause) Oh, no~ (Nervous facial expression) so I called my girlfriend right away. “My dear Honey! Don't trust Johnny.” (pause) One month later they both (pause) disappeared. Till now I still can't find them, and I have to say Johnny is the best walker (pause) (Tread at least 3 steps), Johnny walker. (pause) I was so heartbroken.
我也在花蓮服役，在我入伍之前，我的好友 約翰 告訴我：「不用擔心！ 我會好好照顧你女朋友的啦！」（狼嘯！聲音變化），「糟了！」，我立刻打電話給女朋友：「親愛的！千萬別相信約翰」，一個月後，他們兩個（停頓）都不見了，到現在，我仍未能找到他們，我必須說約翰 真的是善於走路（停頓、走三步），約翰走路…我也心碎了！

One night at my military base I drank a lot wine with two of my roommates sleeping next to me. That night in my dream I met Johnny and my girlfriend, so I beat Johnny (Beating movement) and had a great time with my girlfriend (Caress movement).
一天晚上，我在營區裡與睡在我旁邊的兩位室友一起喝酒，當晚我夢到了約翰和我的女朋友，我狠狠地揍了約翰，並和我女友渡過了歡樂時光（擁抱）。

The next day when we woke up, I found one of my roommates had panda's eyes and broken ribs. (pause) The other had some love bites on his neck, chest, and ... (Look down) (pause) My chief knew what had happened to me, so he arranged an outing and invited some girls. And thanks to my chief, my date was the most beautiful girl, Caroline. (Showing her picture, a fat girl on the screen) But when she hopped on my motorbike, (A poo sound) my tire became flat. So, I rode her bike. (Body language) But, the tire (pause) exploded. (pause) Then we had to take the bus. (Long pause and shake head) The bus' tires (pause) were ok!
第二天醒來時，我發現一位室友有著黑眼圈且斷了根肋骨，而一些愛的咬痕出現在另一位的脖子、胸口、以及（往下看）…，我的長官知道我的遭遇後，約了一些女孩，並安排了一次郊遊，真感謝我的長官，我分配到最美的女孩 - 卡洛琳（出示照片，一位胖女孩），當她跳上我的摩托車時，噗！我的車胎扁了，我趕緊換騎她的腳踏車，但，車胎（停頓）卻爆了，我們只好改搭公車（停頓並搖頭），公車車胎（停頓）還好沒爆。

Finally we arrived at the top of the mountain to meet my chief and his friends. We had a party around the bonfire; I got so crazy and I took off my T-shirt and pants (waving-body language) and then threw them into the bonfire. (pause) All of a sudden, everyone was laughing at my ((pause), look down) sexy pink underpants, (pause) with a Hello Kitty. One little girl even ran to me “I love that Kitty, may I cut it?” (pause)
最後，我們終於到了山頂與我的長官及他的朋友們會合。我們在營火旁舉行舞會，我很興奮地脫下了我的襯衫及褲子（揮舞著），揮舞著襯衫、褲子並丟向營火，突然，大家都嘲笑我的（向下看）粉紅色性感內褲以及其上的那一個（停頓）Hello Kitty，一位小女孩甚至跑向我說：「我最喜歡 Hello Kitty ，可以把它剪下來嗎？」

The next morning we hiked out of the mountain. (pause) But Caroline and I got lost in the woods. Suddenly, some monkeys showed up. Caroline was so scared and I tried to protect her by using my talent of (pause) animal communication. (pause, monkey movement and then throw a bunch of banana away.) Caroline, they left. “Wow, Shang, this is amazing! You are just like Tarzan. You are my hero!”
第二天早上，我們步行登山，但我和 卡洛琳在樹林中迷路了，突然，出現了幾隻猴子，卡洛琳非常的害怕，我也試著用我與動物溝通的天份（做出猴子的動作，並丟出一串香蕉），「卡洛琳，猴子已經跑了！」，「哇！尚賢！真是神奇！你簡直就是泰山，你是我的英雄！」

After this amazing adventure, Caroline and I fell in love. And we decided to have at least (two fingers) (pause) 20 children, and I will contribute all them to Toastmasters by chartering the 1st and the only family club named (pause) “Tarzan” Toastmasters. This is beyond human ability and reaches the level of animal world. And I promise this club will live forever and members will renew every year. Now Caroline and I are going to get married and we'd like to invite you to our wedding party. Here are two reminders. No. 1, it's free (pause) for animals. No.2, it's free for Toastmasters (pause) ladies only!
經過這不可思議的探險後，我與卡洛琳墜入愛河，我們決定至少生（比出兩根指頭）（停頓） 20個小孩，我會把孩子全部捐給演講會，成立第一個且唯一的家庭演講會，會名是（停頓）泰山演講會，這個演講會將超越人類能力直達動物世界，我保證這個會將永續經營，且每年更新會友。如今，我與卡洛琳即將結婚，並邀請各位參加我們的婚禮，請各位注意以下兩點，1.免費（停頓）只對動物，2.演講會會友也免費（停頓）只限女性！

Oh, I just so love Hualian because I can smell the fresh air and I can shout in the woods (o-i-o-i-o, Tarzan's voice) (pause) Do you love Hualian? (Yes!) Do you love this wonderland? (Yes!) Do you love Caroline? (Yes!) (Make the gun-holding pose) You'd better not! For my Caroline and my beautiful homeland, I will work with my people to make this land wonderful and hope one day we can hold a convention on this wonderland. (pause) LeiYaiHaiYoAiAiYa
對了！我熱愛花蓮因為我可以呼吸新鮮空氣，且盡情吶喊（o-i-o-i-o，泰山的叫聲），你愛花蓮嗎？（愛∼），你愛這個人間仙境嗎？（愛∼），你愛卡洛琳嗎？（愛∼），（舉起獵槍）你最好不要。為了卡洛琳及美麗的家園，我會和同胞們一起努力，期望有一天我們可以在花蓮這個人間天堂舉辦秋季大會！LeiYaiHaiYoAiAiYa∼

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