（不同的開場）                      6分55秒  40次笑聲
What do you see?
您看到什麼了？（揮舞著雙手）

Yes, fingers~ without a ring.  That means I am single and available.
對了！我的手上沒有戒指，這表示我是單身且隨時可以約會。

Contest Master, ladies and gentlemen, how many of you are single?  Please help me raise your hands.  Thank you, now I know where to focus on for eye contact.  
主席、各位女士先生們！在場的各位有哪些目前還是單身？請舉一下手，謝謝！這樣我就知道該鎖定哪些目標了！


According to a recent survey by the China Times, more than 70% of Taiwanese people under the age 35 are still single, and 55% among those don't want to get married.
（引經據典）
根據中國時報最近的調查，在台灣，年紀在 35歲以下，超過 70%的人仍是單身，且其中有 55% 的人根本不想結婚。

To be honest, I  quite enjoy my single life.  But, ever since my two  brothers got married, being single became a problem in my family.  Every time when I go back to see my family, I have to face the questions and interrogations from my mom:
說實話，我很享受我的單身生活。但是，自從我兩個弟弟結婚後，單身這件事在我家就變成一個麻煩的問題。每次我回家，我都得面對我媽的訊問：

（不計形象、台灣口音的英語）
Do you have a boy friend?
妳有沒有男朋友啊？

Have you met any decent men lately? 
妳最近有沒有遇到還不錯的男人？

No?  Told you many times--Don't put your eyes on your head!  You are tall enough.
沒有？告訴過妳多少次了，眼光別那麼高，妳已經夠高了！ 

Mom, the fault is not mine!
媽！長得高又不是我的錯！ 

Who cares!  You ~ go to the single night market right now!
誰管妳！妳啊！現在就給我去單身俱樂部！ 

What is the single night market?  Blind dates! 
什麼是單身俱樂部？就是 - 相親！

I can't believe I am already being thrown into the Single Night Market for sale.  But I wasn't worried about it, since my mom is a professional matchmaker and she has matched 100 couples in the past 10 years.  But there's only one problem, which my mom keeps telling me: You need to get married soon or you will destroy my kanban! 
我真不敢相信，我已經淪落到被丟到單身俱樂部去拍賣了。可是我並不擔心，因為我媽是一位專業媒婆，而且她在過去十年間已經撮和了 100 對新人。但問題是，我媽一直提醒我：妳要趕快結婚，要不然妳會砸了我的招牌！

Since when did my marriage have anything to do with her kanban?  
什麼時候開始，我結不結婚竟然關係到我媽的招牌？

Anyway, my mom and I embarked on the mission of blind dates, and SHE made all the phone calls and sent my photo everywhere.  She even carried my photo to the morning market every day: Hey, this is my daughter.  Beautiful, but just too tall.   How old is your son?
於是我媽跟我開始籌劃一趟相親之旅，我媽到處打電話，四處送我的照片、她甚至帶著我的照片到菜市場去：（台灣口音的英語）喂！這是我女兒啦！很水啦！只是有點高啦！那，你兒子現在多大啊？

Thanks, Mom; now I am famous in every market. 
謝謝你喔，媽。我現在變成市場名人了！

Usually mothers tell their daughters don't talk too much, but before my first blind date, my mom asked me not to do one thing; that is, never ever stand up!
通常媽媽會告訴女兒「別太多話！」，但是在我第一次相親前，我媽只告訴我一件事：「千萬別『站』起來！」

Let me recall my first blind date, he was a very handsome young man.  In a nice restaurant, we both sat quietly and said nothing, because my mom did all the talking.  But I could tell he liked me, because his eyes were sparkling.  At the end of the meeting, he stood up and presented a gift to me.  I thought it must be him.  So my eyes started sparkling and I totally forgot my mom's order, and, I stood up.  Then I looked at him; no more sparkling, but shocking. 
讓我來回顧一下我的第一次相親，他是位帥哥。在一家氣氛不錯的餐廳裡，我們兩個靜靜的坐在一起，因為從頭到尾都是我媽在講話，但是我可以看得出來他喜歡我，因為他一直在對我放電，在相親快結束的時候，他站起來送了我一個禮物，我心裡在想：一定就是他了！於是，我的眼睛也開始放電，結果，我完全忘記我媽的交代，我（停頓），就（停頓），站起來了！當我看著他時（比出由上往下看的手勢），他的眼睛不再放電，只剩驚嚇！

According to my mom's Dating Bible, this was a serious mistake, so she tried to save me and said to my date:
根據我媽的相親聖經，這是個嚴重的錯誤，我媽試著要挽救這個糟糕的情況，就對著那個帥哥說：

（台灣口音的英語）
Wei, young man, don't be scared, my daughter is good, I guarantee! 
喂！年輕人！別害怕！我女兒是最棒的！掛保證的！

（饒舌歌）
She can cook; she can clean.  She is tall and she is strong. 
她能煮，又能打掃，她既高又強壯，

It doesn't matter she's taller; she can be your bodyguard！
別在乎她的高個子，她可以做你的保鏢！

Moｍ!　Until then, I never knew you can rap. 
媽！一直到現在，我才知道原來你會唱饒舌歌曲。

So, my first blind date failed, and after that, my super matchmaker mom took me through many more blind dates.  Just when I thought I would be single forever, my 33^rd blinddate showed up.  He looked just like Tom Cruise whose wives are all taller than him.  
我的第一次約會就這麼毀了，從那以後，我那超級媒人婆的媽又帶我趕赴了無數次的相親約會，正當我懷疑我可能要單身一輩子了，我第 33 次的相親對象出現了，他長得像極了湯姆克魯斯，就是那個太太永遠比他高的那個湯姆克魯斯。

And this time, I was determined not to let my mom get in the way.  I paid a big tip to the waiter and ask him to keep pouring water into my mom's glass.  Finally, my mom had to go to the ladies room, and I got the 5 precious minutes to talk to this Tom Cruise.  In those five minutes, I applied all the skills I've learned from Toastmasters; attractive eye contact, effective gestures and body movement, and also beautiful "vocal variety." (would you like some more tea?) 
這一次，我決定不再讓我媽介入。我付了高額的小費買通了服務生，請他一直幫我媽加水，終於我媽忍不住去上廁所了，我把握住這珍貴的五分鐘跟這位湯姆克魯斯好好的聊聊。在這五分鐘裡，我展現了我從演講會學來的所有技巧 - 目光接觸、肢體語言、聲音變化（你還要再喝點水嗎？）。（演講會的經驗）

Believe me, he was very interested in everything I said and he even commented me on my excellent communication skills.  I gave my best table topic answer that day.
相信我，他對我所說的一切非常感興趣，他甚至還說我的溝通技巧超棒。那天，我做了有史以來最好的即席問答。（演講會的經驗）

Even though we had that pleasant five minutes, we didn't go for a second date; he joined another Toastmasters club instead. 
雖然我們共度了那愉快的五分鐘，我們並沒有繼續第二次的約會；結果，他加入了另一個演講會。（出乎意料）

After so many blind dates, I couldn't help wondering, would things have been any different if my mom wasn't with me? But I am thankful for my mom, because without her, I might have bumped into a blind marriage.  Oh, by the way, even though I am still single, I have not destroyed my mom's kanban.  Remember my first date?  That cute short guy?  I introduced him to my best friend Emily and they just got married this July.  I  have not destroyed my mom's kanban; I carry on her legacy.  So fellow Toastmasters, do you need a date?  Or a matchmaker?  Or a bodyguard?  Come to me after the contest.  
經過無數次的相親後，有時候我不禁懷疑，如果我媽沒有緊跟著我，結果是否會有所不同？但我還是要感謝我媽，要不是她，我可能早就盲目地一頭栽進婚姻裡。對了！順便提起，即使現在我仍是單身，我並沒有砸了我媽的招牌，還記得我的第一次相親對象，那位可愛的矮傢伙嗎？我把他介紹給了我的好友 - 愛蜜莉，他們今年七月才剛結婚。所以，我沒有砸掉我媽的招牌，我傳承了她的傳奇。現在，會友們！你需要相親對象嗎？你需要媒人婆嗎？還是，你需要一位保鏢？歡迎賽後聯絡！